A Marriage Saved Through Misery

Editor’s note: How can a cancer diagnosis lead to a restoration in marriage? A Chinese believer shares the testimony of how God used a tragic diagnosis to bring a wife and husband closer together.

Grace Made Perfect In Weakness

Dear brothers and sisters, the Lord Jesus said to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So Paul boasted all the more gladly of his weaknesses, so that the power of Christ might rest upon him. I am a weak person, but the grace of the Lord Jesus has manifested in my family.

““I am a weak person, but the grace of the Lord Jesus has manifested in my family.”

I have a strong personality, and it is hard for me to lower my head and admit when I’m wrong. The first few years of my marriage were pretty good. We were an enviable couple and loved each other dearly. But after having our second child, conflicts began to erupt, and my strong personality started to come out.

Although we sought help many times, which included attending couples’ retreat and receiving marriage counseling, our relationship still didn’t improve much. It was almost at the point of despair. I often complained to God why he gave me a marriage like this. My husband was also living in great misery. Just at a precarious moment in our marriage, a sudden incident completely changed our relationship and saved our marriage just in time.

Peace and Joy in a Terminal Diagnosis

In 2009, I was diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer. From having fear and terror at the beginning, to slowly recovering my inner peace, my heart was constantly illuminated by the Holy Spirit. It showed me what a proud person I was.

During the first month after the surgery, my husband stayed with me in the hospital day and night. Seeing how hard-working he was to take care of me, I began to feel guilty. I felt I had owed him a lot for these past few years. The indifference of my heart suddenly disappeared. It was also at that moment that I felt I loved him so much and was so afraid of losing him. We all wanted to cherish each other dearly.

““Every night, my husband would hold my hand and pray. Many times I fell asleep with his prayers. Over the next few years, we both changed and looked much older, but our inner selves were being renewed day by day.”

Especially during my chemotherapy, the treatment caused bone marrow suppression and my white blood cells became very low. Every night I had trouble falling asleep and my body was extremely weak. Every night, my husband would hold my hand and pray. Many times I fell asleep with his prayers. Over the next few years, we both changed and looked much older, but our inner selves were being renewed day by day.

When I was first diagnosed, the doctor told me that I would only have about 1 year left to live. At first I was in emotional turmoil. Seeing my worries, my husband showed me an article written by Pastor John Piper, “Don't Waste Your Cancer.” There's a line in the text that says, “We can indeed waste our cancer when we don’t see how it is God’s good plan for us.” [Note: this line does not appear in the original article, but is a translation from English, into Chinese, and back into English.] That immediately opened up my heart.

I prayed silently in my heart, “Lord, yes, I am convinced that this disease was specially planned for me by you. Although I don’t know or understand why this illness has to fall upon me, I believe that you are involved in it. O God, if you have allowed this cancer to fall upon me, you must have a supreme and good purpose installed for me.”

““God wants to heal my soul and bind up my marriage through this disease.”

Suddenly, my heart was filled with overwhelming peace and joy. The peace that comes from overcoming fear was so real. No one can give or take away that peace and joy.

Shaping My Life

God saved my marriage and shaped my life through a sudden misery. In the book of Hosea, it says, “Come, let us return to the Lord; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.” This is what God does.

God knows that I have a hardened heart, and he knows by what means he can soften it and turn my heart back. He wants to heal my soul and bind up my marriage through this disease.

Rebecca is a pseudonym for the wife of a house church pastor in southern China. She and her husband have two children.